ENS

Level-graded English lessons with reading, listening, activities, and discussion.

Lesson Info

Type
Social Post
Level
3 / B1
Published
Title
Why Won’t He Let Me Visit?
Webpage
https://eslnewsstories.com/smposts/why-wont-he-let-me-visit/

Lesson Content

Warm-up, Vocab List, Reading and Audio

Understanding: Read the Comments, Why Did They Post?, True or False, Put Events in Order

Language: Words That Go Together, Everyday Expressions

Use It: Reply Builder, Discussion Questions

Answers

Think Ahead: Why do you think her boyfriend will not let her visit his apartment?

a) He is embarrassed by how messy it is.

b) He may be hiding something from her.

c) He does not like having anyone in his home.

A worried young woman sits alone on her sofa holding her phone, with signs that someone else regularly spends time in her apartment.
What's his deal?

Vocab List

disaster (n.) — A situation or place that is extremely bad or badly organized.
fed up (adj. phr.) — Annoyed because a situation has continued for too long.
suggest (v.) — To mention an idea that someone could consider.
ultimatum (n.) — A final demand that says what will happen if someone does not agree.
bother (v.) — To make someone feel worried, annoyed, or uncomfortable.
admit (v.) — To say that something is true, especially when it is difficult to say.
sort out (phr. v.) — To deal with a problem or organize something successfully.
expect someone to (v. pattern) — To believe that someone should do something.

Reading

My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly three months, and we live close enough to walk to each other’s apartments. We see each other most days, but there’s one thing that has started to bother me: he always comes over to my place.

At first, I didn’t think much of it. He said his apartment was a disaster and he was embarrassed to let me see it. But whenever I suggest going there, he finds a reason to say no. I’ve even offered to help him clean, and I’ve told him I don’t expect the place to be perfect. Nothing changes.

He keeps telling me he’s sorting it out bit by bit. After hearing that for weeks, I’m fed up with waiting. It’s not really about the mess anymore. I’m starting to feel like there’s a part of his life he doesn’t want me to see.

Last week, I finally gave him an ultimatum. I told him I needed to visit his apartment within two weeks or I didn’t want to continue the relationship. He asked for a month, and after talking about it, we agreed on three weeks. Then he admitted he still might not be ready by then.

Now I’m wondering if I went too far. Is it fair to expect him to let me see where he lives?

Why Won’t He Let Me Visit?

Level 3 Social
Warm-up → or → Check Understanding → Language → Use It

A worried young woman sits alone on her sofa holding her phone, with signs that someone else regularly spends time in her apartment.
What's his deal?
Poster
Chloe

My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly three months, and we live close enough to walk to each other’s apartments. We see each other most days, but there’s one thing that has started to bother me: he always comes over to my place.

At first, I didn’t think much of it. He said his apartment was a disaster and he was embarrassed to let me see it. But whenever I suggest going there, he finds a reason to say no. I’ve even offered to help him clean, and I’ve told him I don’t expect the place to be perfect. Nothing changes.

He keeps telling me he’s sorting it out bit by bit. After hearing that for weeks, I’m fed up with waiting. It’s not really about the mess anymore. I’m starting to feel like there’s a part of his life he doesn’t want me to see.

Last week, I finally gave him an ultimatum. I told him I needed to visit his apartment within two weeks or I didn’t want to continue the relationship. He asked for a month, and after talking about it, we agreed on three weeks. Then he admitted he still might not be ready by then.

Now I’m wondering if I went too far. Is it fair to expect him to let me see where he lives?

Read the Comments

Read the Comments

  • NinaM

    Honestly, I’d be wondering if he really lives alone. Three months and you still can’t see the place? Maybe there’s a girlfriend or wife there.

    This comment

    c. Suspects he may be hiding another relationship
  • Chris88

    For me, the bigger issue is honesty. His apartment can be messy, but he should be able to explain what is going on instead of keeping part of his life hidden from you. A relationship gets difficult when one person feels they cannot trust the other.

    This comment

    a. Emphasizes honesty and trust in a relationship
  • EllieP

    He could just be deeply embarrassed. Some people avoid letting anyone into their home when the mess feels out of control.

    This comment

    b. Offers embarrassment as another explanation
  1. a. Emphasizes honesty and trust in a relationship
  2. b. Offers embarrassment as another explanation
  3. c. Suspects he may be hiding another relationship

Speaker: Australian Female  Duration: 1:24  YouTube

Why Did They Post?

Choose one answer, then click CHECK to see your result.

Why Did They Post?

Choose one:

  • She wants to know whether it is fair to insist on seeing her boyfriend’s apartment. Correct answer
  • She wants advice about how to clean her boyfriend’s apartment quickly.
  • She wants to know whether she should invite her boyfriend over less often.
True or False

Answer each question by selecting True or False, then click CHECK to see your results.

  • The couple live close to each other.
  • They usually spend time at the boyfriend’s apartment.
  • At first, she accepted his explanation about the mess.
  • She has told him that his apartment needs to be perfect before she visits.
  • She is now worried that the problem may be about more than cleaning.
  • They agreed on a three-week deadline for the visit.

True or False

1. The couple live close to each other. TRUEFALSE True

2. They usually spend time at the boyfriend’s apartment. TRUEFALSE False

3. At first, she accepted his explanation about the mess. TRUEFALSE True

4. She has told him that his apartment needs to be perfect before she visits. TRUEFALSE False

5. She is now worried that the problem may be about more than cleaning. TRUEFALSE True

6. They agreed on a three-week deadline for the visit. TRUEFALSE True

Put Events in Order

Put the events in the order they happened, from first to last.

  • 1 They started dating and usually spent time at her apartment.
  • 2 He repeatedly refused to let her visit his apartment.
  • 3 She offered to help him clean and said the apartment did not need to be perfect.
  • 4 After waiting for weeks, she gave him an ultimatum.
  • 5 They agreed on three weeks, but he said he still might not be ready.

Put Events in Order

Put the events from the story in the correct order from first (1) to last (5):

  • She offered to help him clean and said the apartment did not need to be perfect.
  • They agreed on three weeks, but he said he still might not be ready.
  • They started dating and usually spent time at her apartment.
  • After waiting for weeks, she gave him an ultimatum.
  • He repeatedly refused to let her visit his apartment.
  1. They started dating and usually spent time at her apartment.
  2. He repeatedly refused to let her visit his apartment.
  3. She offered to help him clean and said the apartment did not need to be perfect.
  4. After waiting for weeks, she gave him an ultimatum.
  5. They agreed on three weeks, but he said he still might not be ready.

Words That Go Together

Loading vocabulary activity...

Words That Go Together

Match each word with the words it goes with:

1. Feelf) embarrassed

2. Suggeste) doing something

3. Give someoned) an ultimatum

4. Continuec) a relationship

5. Admitb) the truth

6. Expect someonea) to do something

a) to do something

b) the truth

c) a relationship

d) an ultimatum

e) doing something

f) embarrassed

Everyday Expressions

  1. Choose the meaning of 'comes over'. If someone comes over, they
  2. Choose the meaning of 'fed up with'. If you are fed up with something, you are
  3. Choose the meaning of 'bit by bit'. If you do something bit by bit, you do it
  4. Choose the meaning of 'went too far'. If you think you went too far, you think you

Everyday Expressions

Choose the correct meaning.

  1. If someone comes over, they meet you somewhere near your home. or visit you at your home.
  2. If you are fed up with something, you are worried because you do not understand it clearly. or annoyed because it has continued for too long.
  3. If you do something bit by bit, you do it gradually, in small stages. or carefully so that you do not make mistakes.
  4. If you think you went too far, you think you acted more strongly than the situation needed. or kept dealing with a problem longer than necessary.

Reply Builder

  1. Show that you understand why she is concerned.

    I understand why you feel because .

  2. Give a possible explanation for his behavior.

    He might be because .

  3. Comment on the ultimatum.

    Giving him an ultimatum may , but .

  4. Suggest what she should do next.

    Before you , I think you should .

Reply Builder

  1. Show that you understand why she is concerned.

    I understand why you feel because .

  2. Give a possible explanation for his behavior.

    He might be because .

  3. Comment on the ultimatum.

    Giving him an ultimatum may , but .

  4. Suggest what she should do next.

    Before you , I think you should .

Discussion Questions
  1. Would you be suspicious if someone you were dating never let you visit their home? Why?
  2. What are some possible reasons someone might hide their home from a partner?
  3. Is it embarrassing to have a messy room?
  4. Do you think giving him an ultimatum was fair? Why or why not?
  5. How much privacy should people have in a serious relationship?
  6. Can hiding something damage trust even if it's not important?
  7. When is it reasonable to say, “If this doesn’t change, we’re done”?

Discussion Questions

  1. Would you be suspicious if someone you were dating never let you visit their home? Why?
  2. What are some possible reasons someone might hide their home from a partner?
  3. Is it embarrassing to have a messy room?
  4. Do you think giving him an ultimatum was fair? Why or why not?
  5. How much privacy should people have in a serious relationship?
  6. Can hiding something damage trust even if it's not important?
  7. When is it reasonable to say, “If this doesn’t change, we’re done”?

Answers Why Won’t He Let Me Visit? / Level 3

Read the Comments:

  1. NinaM: c. Suspects he may be hiding another relationship
  2. Chris88: a. Emphasizes honesty and trust in a relationship
  3. EllieP: b. Offers embarrassment as another explanation

Why Did They Post?: She wants to know whether it is fair to insist on seeing her boyfriend’s apartment.

True or False:

  1. True. She says they live close enough to walk to each other’s apartments.
  2. False. They always spend time at her apartment.
  3. True. She says she did not think much of it at first.
  4. False. She tells him that she does not expect the apartment to be perfect.
  5. True. She feels there may be a part of his life that he does not want her to see.
  6. True. He asked for a month, but they agreed on three weeks.

Put Events in Order:

  1. They started dating and usually spent time at her apartment.
  2. He repeatedly refused to let her visit his apartment.
  3. She offered to help him clean and said the apartment did not need to be perfect.
  4. After waiting for weeks, she gave him an ultimatum.
  5. They agreed on three weeks, but he said he still might not be ready.

Vocabulary:

  1. Feel: embarrassed
  2. Suggest: doing something
  3. Give someone: an ultimatum
  1. Continue: a relationship
  2. Admit: the truth
  3. Expect someone: to do something

Everyday Expressions: 1. b; 2. b; 3. a; 4. a

Reply Builder examples:

  1. I understand why you feel suspicious because he has kept his home completely separate from you for three months.
  2. He might be extremely embarrassed because the apartment is worse than he has admitted.
  3. Giving him an ultimatum may put more pressure on him, but I understand why you do not want to keep waiting.
  4. Before you end the relationship, I think you should ask him to explain honestly what he is afraid of.

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